Say My Name
by iwillanswertosatan
Summary: After Addison's car crash, she awakes with amnesia. How does Alex cope with Addison thinking Derek is her husband? S3/5 Addex with hints of Addek, MerDer, Maddison and Mer/Alex, Callie/Alex, Addie/Callie friendships.
1. Wake Me Up

**Next Addison/Alex fic :) It's something different than usual and I'm still exploring what I can do with it. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything..**

"Addie? Are you awake? Addie, say something." She heard an unrecognizable voice say. She felt two hands, one on either side of her face, both thumbs softly caressing her cheeks. She uttered something as she tried to speak to which the voice replied once again. "Addie are you in there? Say something. Please!" The voice sounded so desperate, she wanted to put it out of its misery but she just couldn't. Maybe something else. Slowly Addison tried to open her eyes but closed fast, as a result of the bright light in the room. The voice reacted once again to her movement, now yelling "Page Shepherd, Addison's opening her eyes!". _Wait Shepherd?_

* * *

_"Derek Christopher Shepherd, do you take thee Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse?" The priest said, not looking up from his book._

_"I do." Derek said, gazing lovingly in Addison's eyes._

_"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." The priest concluded, this was the moment they both waited for. They locked eyes, revealing smiles from ear to ear. Derek leaned in and captured Addison's lips, keeping the kiss of appropriate length. They could hear their family and friends clapping, pulling back simultaneously. Her head lingered around his ear, whispering "Say it." He chuckled softly, "We're the Shepherds."_

* * *

"Is she waking up?"

It was him, she knew it was his voice. Derek Shepherd, her husband. Addison eyes flew open, a smile forming on her lips which was gladly returned by the two men in her room. She tried to speak once again, this time in a croaked, but understandable voice, "Derek?"

"Yes, Addie, it's me! Does it hurt anywhere?" He said, shining with a light in each of Addison's eyes, to which she cringed.

All she could do was nod. It wasn't until he mentioned it that Addison realized she was hurting everywhere, her left arm, her right leg, but the most pain came from her head. As soon as Derek had moved out of the way, the unknown young men, to which the voice belonged, moved closer and kissed her forehead before capturing her lips with a soft kiss. Her first instinct was to return the kiss, but as soon she realized what was going on, she pushed him away, giving Derek a startled look.

"What the hell? Derek how can you stay so calm when a stranger kisses me out of nowhere?" She spoke, her voice seemingly less croaked than before.

Her gaze switched to the unknown man who now had tears his eyes but her head flipped back to a sighing Derek. "I think she's got amnesia." He told the unknown man in the room and directed his concentration back on her, "Can you tell me your name?"

"Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery Shepherd" She smiled when she added the Shepherd but cocked an eyebrow when he didn't return the smile. "Addison, what do you remember?"

"Derek, what's wrong? Can you tell me what is going on?"

"You have been in a car crash and hurt your head pretty bad. You seem to have amnesia but I don't know how much you remember." Derek said, sitting on the side of her bed.

"We wanted to grab some dinner last night, but there was no place because we didn't have reservations so we got take-out and ate it in the trailer." Addison explained calmly.

Derek rubbed his eyes. He could see the question marks in Addison's eyes and it hurt him that she didn't remember.

"Isn't that what happened?" She tried once again.

"No, Addison, that's not what happened. So you remember your name, but you don't remember what happened last night. Do you remember him?" Derek said, pointing to Alex.

"No, I'm sorry, I don't."

"Addie, it's me, Alex. Alex Karev." Alex hoped that maybe she remembered by saying his name. He gave up hope when she looked at him warily. But the her face changed.

* * *

_She strode into the hallway, her heels clicking languidly across the floor, steam coming out of her ears. "Karev." She stated, one hand on her hip, the other one making big gestures. "Hey, I was just checking up on Ava." Alex answered casually. "Do I have another Denny Duquette situation on my hands?"_

* * *

"You work for me?" Addison asked cautiously. She only remembered being mad at him but had no idea if it was a permanent thing or just in the heat of the moment.

"Yes, Addie, yes I do." Alex's face lit up immediately and a single tear rolled over his cheek.

"Shouldn't you call me doctor then?" Addison said rather harshly. It wasn't her intention to hurt him but her curiosity just got expressed a little more brute than intended. And due to her lack of memory she didn't remember all the time they'd spend together.

Alex was taken aback by her sudden change in demeanor. How could she forget? The tear he'd just shed of happiness was replaced by more tears out of impotence and sadness. He wanted to tell her he called her Addie because they were engaged. Because the night before they had discussed children of their own, because they still had sex at least once during the day, even though they'd been together for almost two years. But Derek stopped him before he could say any of that.

"I think we should stop trying to remember things for today. We'll be back later to check on you."

Both Derek and Alex, turned around to leave the room when Addison's voice halted them. "Der, aren't you forgetting something," She pursed her lips a little to remind him.

Derek locked eyes with Alex, who by now stormed out of the room and Derek smiled sadly. He pecked her cheek lightly and watched as her smile fell from her face. "See you later Addison." He said, before leaving the room.

**Should I continue?**


	2. Confusion

**Wow thanks for all the feedback, it made me blush :) But look how reviewing got you a second chapter so fast! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Do not own it.**

The next morning Addison awoke with a throbbing headache. She stared at the white ceiling for a while, blinking multiple times. Slowly she tried to sit up but cried out in pain as she did. Looking under her blanket she saw the cast on her right leg and a big bandage, which was no doubt hiding a large scar, on her left forearm. Plus her headache worsened every minute.

Her scream had alarmed several nurses and one doctor came to her rescue. Her hair was dirty blonde and she had a concerned look on her face, which she tried to hide with a smile.

"Addison, is there something wrong?" The girl asked.

"Can you give me some painkillers?" Addison replied, wincing as she reached another painful peak in her headache.

"Sure." The blonde replied, grabbing some supplies and pressing some buttons on the stand next to her.

Addison brought her hand to her head and felt several band-aids, looking up to see if the blonde girl was still there, she asked, "Am I injured badly in my face?"

"Just a little bruising and some cuts. It looks worse than it is." She paused, scanning Addison's face. "There's a nurse coming, who will help you with bathing."

"No!" Addison shouted, but lowered her voice when the girl jumped a little, "Can you ask Derek to help me? 'Cause he's my husband, and that's less awkward than some nurse."

The doctor eyed her suspiciously but answered, "Sure." And she walked outside.

"Meredith, did you just come out of Addison's room?" Derek asked as soon as he catched up with her.

"Yeah, apparently she wants _her husband_ to help her bathe. Her husband, Derek? She doesn't remember the divorce? Why didn't you tell me?" Meredith was raging inside but remained calm. She knew it was a lot to take in for Derek, but he could've told her right?

"I'm sorry Mer, but I've barely seen you all night. She has amnesia, she doesn't remember Alex. You should've seen the look on his face when she asked him if he shouldn't call her doctor." Derek rubbed his eyes, taking in every second. It was still so unreal, his Addie had amnesia. This was such a mess.

"Look, I know it's not the time to be the over protective girlfriend right now, but when are you going to tell her? You can't help her bathe forever right?"

"I'm going to wait first, see if she remembers. Yesterday, she remembered so little, but she can still regain it. Whether it's now or in two years, I'm not going to pressure her. And If I have to bathe her everyday then I will. Mer, she's been my wife, my family for 11 years. We're divorced, I know that, but I care about her and I will not stop looking out for her. She's scared and alone and she's in a great amount of pain so I'm going to answer her needs and help her through this." He blinked back tears and Meredith looked at him emotionless.

"Mer, this doesn't regard our relationship. And our talk didn't bode well yesterday –"

"No, I understand. You're tired." Meredith pecked his cheek and walked away. She hid her disappointment under a smile. She knew he still cared about her but didn't know why she was so affected by it.

He let out a sigh in exhaustion, turned on his heels and walked to Addison's room. She was leaning back on her pillow, her eyes narrowing and switching from left to right, trying to remember something. The strong and independent Addison that he knew, was replaced by a weak and vulnerable one. He knocked on the door of the ICU and as soon as he came in, her eyes shot up and a smile appeared on her face.

"I thought you weren't coming." She said, her face void of emotion. She was scared of false hope, like when yesterday he gave her a peck on the cheek instead of crashing his lips down on hers.

"Of course I was. Come on, let's get you in the tub." He spoke, going into the bathroom to let the bathtub fill. He helped her walk to the bathroom but she came to a halt when they passed a mirror. She examined her face closely. A cut followed the line of her as usual perfectly arched eyebrow, another one had found its place on her chin. And in between there was a line of dark bruising.

"Are you alright?" Derek asked.

"Yes." She started, "I will be."

They strolled further into the bathroom, Derek helped her out of her hospital gown, careful not to hurt her. He threw her underwear in the laundry bag and set her in the tub carefully, her broken leg was dangling over the side. He looked at her body, it was a long time since he'd seen her naked, but all he could see was the bruise on her chest. _Probably from the steering wheel. _He thought.

"Derek, what's wrong? You've seen me naked a thousand times."

"Nothing's wrong, Addie." He replied, putting on a small smile.

Neither one of them spoke for the rest of her bath. He made sure to clean every space with the washcloth, trying to rid her body of the remains of her accident. He washed her hair with her favorite shampoo, and dried her off with the softest towel he could find. Alex had brought some of her sweatpants and sweatshirts for her to wear, overnight and also Derek thought that was a better idea than putting her in a hospital gown again. Helping her in bed again, he decided to break the silence.

"How is your head? Meredith said you were in an awful lot pain."

"The morfine is working. Who's Meredith?" She asked confusedly.

Another painful subject for him. "Dr. Grey, who just gave you painkillers."

* * *

_Addison paced through the hallways of Seattle Grace Hospital but was stopped when she heard an all too familiar voice shout her name, "Addison!" She turned on her heel, making a face. "You bellowed Dr. Grey?" She walked now fully into the room. "Hi." Meredith said, welcoming her again. "You certainly are." Addison answered._

* * *

"I remember her." Addison spoke.

"Well yeah, she was in here just now –" Derek started but Addison cut him off, "No, I mean I _remember _her."

Derek's face changed, _Does she remember the divorce? The cheating? The panties? _He stood up from the bed, thinking Addison would want him to leave now.

"I think I like her. Did she have an accident too? I remember her being in a hospital bed, " She paused, waiting for a reaction of Derek who by now was pale.

"Appendicitis." He answered. He went over to peck her cheek, saying "I have got to go." And disappeared, leaving a confused Addison behind.

**Oh, I also take suggestions.. Puh-lease review :)**

**-A**


	3. What She Said

__**Hi, it's a shortie, for which I apologise. But I'm sick *coughs*, and I've got something planned that needed another chapter. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's or the Archfield.**

_It was raining. Of course it was raining, this is Seattle. But rain plus darkness has never been a good combination for Addison. She never had a problem with that in New York, the city of lights. But Richard Webber had paged her for an emergency, which apparently only she could do, so she obeyed the man who was like a father to her. Addison used to live at the Archfield hotel, she didn't have her own car then but took a cab every day to work. But now that she bought a house, she figured a car would be put to good use. The lights of her car only lightened 10 meters in front of her and the wiper blades were sweeping the rain of her wind shield. The radio was playing Alcazar's 'Crying At The Discotheque', a song she hadn't heard in years and spontaneously bobbed her head to. Finally she turned into a road that was provided of more lights, but they weren't supposed to be in front of her right? And normally they don't become larger or .. Wait. Is that a tru-_

* * *

Addison woke up screaming for all she was worth. Alex, who was observing her from outside, got in quickly and gathered her in his arms. Hugging her tightly her screams transformed in heart wrenching sobs.

"It's alright, you're safe here honey." Alex soothed her, placing a kiss in her hair. He noticed it smelled exactly the same as it usually did. _Shepherd must've found the shampoo bottle I put there. _He thought. It killed him that Addison had requested her ex-husband to help her bathe, but whatever she wanted, he did.

Her sobs had toned down to a quiet crying. Tears were rolling over her face when he released her from his arms. He didn't expect her to say anything but she did anyway, "I had a bad dream."

"I figured." He replied, giving her a sad smile. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Look, Alex. I think it's really sweet that you're here and you want to comfort me. But from what I remember you're my intern, so I don't want to burden you with anything."

Alex had to blink back tears. Her intern, that's what she thought he was, just her intern. He shut his mouth, preventing from doing any damage and replied calmly, "Of course," He swallowed, "Dr. Montgomery." He walked to the entrance of her door but turned around one more time. "I'm here for you though."

Alex paced through the hallways, looking for Derek. He spotted him, nursing his morning coffee in his hands.

"Shepherd, you need to tell her. You need to tell her she's not married to you. She's mine, Addison's mine. She's my fiancée and I can't have her thinking I'm only her intern. I have to call her Dr. Montgomery for god's sake! I need my Addie back." Alex was on the verge of crying, cradling his head in his arms.

"Alex, calm down. I can trigger her memory but I can't force her. She'll come around. She will remember, I promise you. Just calm down." Derek patted Alex's shoulder in a consoling way.

"Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Montgomery is asking for you." A nurse called out.

"I'll be right there." He answered the nurse, turning around he spoke softly, "I'll talk to her."

Alex nodded and watched Derek walk away.

* * *

"Did you need me?" Derek asked as soon as he walked into Addison's room. He wanted to take a seat in the nearest chair, but moved over to the bed as soon as Addison motioned for him to do so.

"I just wanted to see you." Her smile remembered him of the first year of their marriage. Everytime she saw him or heard his name, a radiant smile appeared on her face.

"Addie, what _do_ you remember?" He took her hand in his.

"I remembered driving over here because the Chief paged me for an emergency surgery. It was dark and raining and a truck just came out of nowhere." She spoke softly.

"I know honey, we saw the wreck. You could've died you know."

Addison didn't reply, but Derek saw a lone tear making its way down her cheek. He pulled her into his arms.

"Do you remember anything else? From before?" He tried.

"I remember marrying you. I remember being a doctor. I know Alex is my intern and Meredith is my friend. We got married in New York and lived there for the next 11 years. We had a private practice. And I think that's about it."

"Do you remember your childhood?" Derek was pushing, he knew. But he wanted this to be over just as much as Alex. Even though he liked the thought of everything being as it was before. He knew Addison would be frantic if she remembered. And he wouldn't want to jeopardize his relationship with Meredith.

"Every single bit of it." She answered softly. "Der, am I going to get my memory back?"

"I hope so Addie." He replied.

"Me too. I think we should start thinking about kids, Der."

"We'll talk about that later Addie." Derek answered, not knowing that outside Addison's room a fuming Alex stood, waiting to enter.

**Review? I'm sick remember :$**

**-A**


	4. Remember The Times

__**Absolutely loved writing this one! Let me know what you think, enjoy :)**

**-insert disclaimer-**

_"Me too. I think we should start thinking about kids, Der."_

_"We'll talk about that later Addie." Derek answered, not knowing that outside Addison's room a fuming Alex stood, waiting to enter._

* * *

Alex couldn't believe what he just heard. It was only one week ago that he and Addison had this discussion even though it went slightly different.

_It was raining outside. Of course it was raining, it's Seattle. The rain was making the windows of their house blurry. Their house. There wasn't a moment that he ever regretted admitting his feelings for Addison. Every time he saw her beautiful face, every time someone let her name roll of their tongue, a smile appeared on his face. And there was no doubt she felt the same way about him. He noticed it in little things, like her snuggling closer into him in the morning, or paging him randomly during the day just because she felt like a kiss or a hug. Not to mention that she was the one who proposed moving in together. Yes, he just knew that Addison felt the same way about him. That was also why the topic 'children' didn't come as a surprise to him. _

_It was around nine in the evening, one of the rare one's they both weren't on duty. They'd just finished doing the dishes and Addison crawled into Alex's lap, resting her head onto his shoulder, sometimes placing kisses along his neck and cheek. _

_"Honey." She spoke softly waiting for him to indicate he was listening._

_He moaned, "Mmmh."_

_"Do you want kids?" She spoke again in the same tone, not moving her head to look at him._

_"With you? Yes." He answered, also not tearing his eyes away from the film they were watching._

_"Good." She nodded, absently playing with the engagement ring on her finger which Alex noticed. She always played with her rings when she was doubting if she should say something._

_"Do you want them right after we get married?" Alex questioned calmly._

_"I want them as soon as you're ready."_

_"Are you ready?"_

_"I've been ready for 10 years."_

_"Right, you're old." He teased and earned himself a playful slap. In the beginning of their relationship Addison had made a big deal out of their age difference which Alex thought was incredibly cute. Now it had become a recurring joke._

_"I'm ready too. But I think we should wait until after we're married because I don't know if Prada makes maternity wedding dresses. But we can practice if you want to."_

_"Oh, I want to." She grinned, pinning him down to their couch._

He felt himself tearing up again but tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He was not going to cry again. Walking into Addison's room, he pretended he didn't hear anything about the kids topic except for the glare he sent Derek's way.

"How are you today?" He asked Addison, sitting on the other side of her bed.

"Better. Derek's taking good care of me." She sent a smile to Derek, who returned it.

"How are the babies?" She asked, she didn't remember any of her recent patients but she knew she was head of the department so she had to know other people weren't screwing her work up.

"All fine. Your replacement sucks though." Alex answered.

Their conversation was interrupted when a worried looking Callie knocked on Addison's door.

Addison immediately looked at Derek for an explanation.

"Addison, this is Callie. Callie Torres. She's an orthopedic surgeon and she was your best friend here in Seattle." Derek explained calmly.

"No, I'm sorry I don't remember you. But you can come in though." Addison motioned for Callie to come in. She wouldn't admit it but it was hard on her that she remembered no one. Not even the person who apparently was her best friend. She took every opportunity to trigger her memory.

"I have to go, see you later." Derek said as soon as the sound of his pager filled the room. He was stopped by Addison's hand. He went back and leaned in to peck her cheek but she shifted her head, wanting Derek to give her a real kiss. Derek tried again to kiss her cheek, painfully aware that Alex was still in the room, but she didn't cave and got her way. Derek leaned in and softly kissed her on the lips. He pulled back quickly and saw Callie patting Alex's shoulder before he stormed out of the room. Derek followed him.

"You know I'm starting to think that my intern has a thing for me. He looks at me in this kind of way that I can't describe." Addison starts.

"The lines of deliciousness. " Callie smiled.

* * *

_"You know those cartoons, where there's a bear or whatever, and it's starving and it looks at the table, and the table turns into this delicious cooked turkey, with like lines of deliciousness coming off it?" Callie said as soon as she caught Addison staring again. "I was not looking at him like that! Because he is the help, and I am not going to be sleeping with the help!" Addison reasoned, not believing a word she said. "I married the help!" Callie announced proudly._

* * *

"Addison? Did you even hear what I said?" Callie asked her friend, who was brought back to reality.

"Callie. Callie Torres, once Callie O'Malley. I do remember you. You married the help." Addison smiled broadly.

Callie pulled her friend into a hug and a tear made its way across her cheek. "You remember me?"

"I do, your lines of deliciousness triggered me." Addison spoke, still smiling.

"I'm so glad I have you back, Manhattan." Callie replied, giving her the nickname out of habit.

_Manhattan._

"Say that again." Addison's eyes widened and the smile fell from her face.

"I'm glad I've got you back, Manhattan." Callie repeated herself, a worried and confusing look making its way across her face. "Addie are you okay?"

"Manhattan." She whispered softly.

* * *

_"What are you doing here?" Derek asked, a cold look on his face._

_"What are you doing here? You just pick up and leave everything, your house, your practice, your friends. You had a life in Manhattan." She retorted._

_"Had." He replied coldly once again._

_"And now you have a girlfriend in Seattle. She seems... sweet."_

* * *

"He cheated on me." She spoke incredulously.

"Addie, how much do you remember?" Callie spoke, trying to help her.

The sadness in her eyes changed to pure venom when she saw a certain blonde entering. "Meredith Grey." She grabbed a vase with flowers from the nightstand next to her and threw them at the woman who broke her marriage, not caring who she hit.

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	5. No Diggity

__**Now THAT is called reviewing! Thanks and welcome to those who joined the club. Enjoy :)**

**-insert disclaimer-**

_"He cheated on me." She spoke incredulously. _

_"Addie, how much do you remember?" Callie spoke, trying to help her._

_The sadness in her eyes changed to pure venom when she saw a certain blonde entering. "Meredith Grey." She grabbed a vase with flowers from the nightstand next to her and threw them at the woman who broke her marriage, not caring who she hit._

* * *

"Addison, oh my God!" Callie shrieked as soon as she saw her throwing the vase.

Meredith had barely escaped the vase which broke into a million pieces as soon as it hit the wall, flowers drowning in their own water on the floor.

"What the fuck? Are you crazy?" Meredith yelled.

"Me? I'm the one who's crazy? You took my husband from me and you made me think you were my friend, I'm disgusted by you. And Derek, he didn't even tell me an-" By now tears were streaming over Addison's face. Callie put her arms around her but she shrugged them off.

All of the commotion Addison had caused, caught Derek and Alex's attention. They both ran into the direction of the room.

"What's going on Addie?" Derek spoke compassionately.

"Don't you even _dare _call me Addie. I'm not your Addie, not anymore. Not ever since you decided to sleep with that whore over there." Addison spat.

"She remembers you cheated on her." Callie clarified, not leaving Addison's side even though she was protesting.

"No shit." Alex spoke.

"I'm so disgusted with you Derek, I can't even look at you right now! How can you throw away our marriage over some slut? You know what I don't wanna hear it. Get out of my room, now!" She yelled.

"Hey, you cheated first!" Meredith shrieked suddenly, all eyes turning to her.

"Meredith!" They all simultaneously yelled.

"Wow, first you're all slutty with my husband and now you accuse me of cheating. How low can you go? Just get out of here, all of you." Addison spoke firmly, turning around in her bed.

Everyone obeyed, some of them more reluctant than others. Once they were outside the arguing began.

"Meredith, why the hell were you so rude? She has amnesia." Alex spoke calmly.

"Alex, I know you are looking out for her, but she called me a slut and she has to know the truth some time. What does it matter that we told her?"

"You made her upset, you have no idea what she could've done!" Alex shrieked.

"She threw a vase at me!"

"Because she doesn't remember she cheated too! How would you feel?"

"Alex, I'm sorry I yelled at her, but once she's going to remember and if she doesn't someone will have to tell her." Meredith lowered her voice.

Alex leaned against the wall and sunk to the floor, his hands in his hair.

"Why her? Why did this happen to her? She's good person you know. We were, we _are _a good couple. We were getting married and now she doesn't even remember me anymore."

"Alex, she will remember you. And if she doesn't she will fall in love all over again because she chose you. There must've been a reason she fell for you in the first place." Meredith sat next to him and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too."

* * *

At lunch time, Callie made her way through the self service just in time to see Alex arriving. She took her tray and rushed to the table where he sat down.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yes." He answered, Callie looked unimpressed. "No." He admitted.

"She remembered me. She remembered me because I said something completely random and out of the blue. That could be you Alex. She could remember you if you talk to her, but hiding out here or just observing her from outside of her room is not going to help her. Especially not now. She needs us, even if she doesn't want to admit it."

"She can go home soon. I mean, they were keeping her for observation first but now.. She can go home soon and everyone knows where her home is, except her. I want to take her home and she's going to think they're sending her home with her intern." Alex's voice was filled with emotion. He swallowed when Callie put her hand on his.

"You know yesterday we had a patient from prison. He killed 3 babies and one elderly woman. He was attacked by one of his fellow cell mates and I swear to God he was in a worse state than Addie. And at the end of the day, he heals perfectly, and they bring him food and he has shelter and he killed four persons. Four innocent people. How is that fair?" Tears rolled over his cheeks, out of anger and impotence. He had cried more this week than in his entire life.

"Alex, I don't know what to say to you. I really don't. I can say I understand, but I don't. I don't know what's it's like to love someone who doesn't remember who you are. I'm lucky she remembers me. Just go to her room. She'll protest for sure, but go inside anyway. Talk to her. Talk to her every day and she will remember. She's still the Addie we know."

"I think you're right."

"Of course I am." Callie smiled.

Alex stood up and rushed himself to Addison's room finding it empty. Panic spread all over his body as he went inside. "Addie? Addison?"

"I'm in here." She shouted from the bathroom.

He walked over to the bathroom and was shocked to find Addison sitting on the floor. Her eyes puffy and red from crying. She wasn't wearing any pants and there were clothes all over the floor.

"Oh my God, what happened?" He said, squatting down to her level.

"I fell." She spoke uneasy. "I wanted to change and I thought I could do it alone but apparently walking without crutches when you only have one good leg is harder than it seems."

"Did you get hurt?"

"No. Can you, can you help me change?" Addison asked, not comfortable with the situation at all.

"Of course, of course!"

Alex helped her up and took one of the sweatpants from the ground. He held them open for her as she put her good foot in one trouser leg and he helped her with the other one, making sure not to hurt her.

"Can you walk?" He asked.

"Clearly I can't." She offered him a small smile, trying to make fun of the situation. "But I can tr-" He scooped her up before she could finish her sentence and carried her to the bed, gently putting her down.

She yawned.

"I can go if you want." Alex offered.

"No, no. Stay, Alex." Addison spoke, trying not to cry. "Please?"

He sat down on the chair next to her bed, his heart beating fast. And for the first time in a week, he felt like he had his Addie back.

**PLEASE review! It's only 5 seconds but it makes a giant difference for me :))**


	6. It Feels Like Losing You

**Hi! Thanks for reviewing! Enjoy the chapter :)**

**-insert disclaimer-**

It had been a week since Addison's outburst and aside from Alex, Callie, Richard and some other visitors she hadn't seen anyone. Derek had tried one time to see her but Alex's instinct had taken over and had forbade Derek to see her.

In this week, Addison had found a friend in Alex, by lack of other friends. Now that she didn't want to see Derek anymore, Alex had been the one to help her get dressed together with Callie.

"You get to go home tomorrow. Are you excited?" Alex spoke while playing cards with Addison, throwing a random, "Ha! I win." In between their conversation.

"I would be excited if I actually got to go _home_. I mean, I like Callie and she's my best friend and I'm glad she wants to take me in but.. I miss the Brownstone." Addison said sadly, shaking the cards and preparing for a new game.

Alex remained silent. _The Brownstone, New York. She wants to go back to New York. If she really goes then I'll never see her ever again. I have to talk her out of it! _"You can make Callie's your home."

"Maybe. As soon as this cast is off I'm getting my own place."

Alex wanted to scream. _You already have your own place, it's with me! _But instead he replied, "You should."

They played cards for some time and this time Addison won. As Alex was shaking the cards, he noticed her playing with her rings. _She always does that when she doubts if she should say something. _He decided to ask her about it, "Addie, what's wrong?"

"Mark." She spoke.

Alex's head shot up, "What about him? You remember him?" _Great she remembers him and not me. How come she doesn't remember she cheated?_

"Why hasn't he come to visit me? He's my best friend, does he know about the crash?"

"He knows yes. He was the one who received the ambulance and he was pretty shaken up by how you looked."

"Oh." She replied in a whisper, looking at her cards to distract herself from the tears trying to fall from her eyes.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Alex spoke, putting his cards aside.

"No, you don't have to do th-" Addison started but Alex stopped her by moving closer to her and taking her hands in his. "Addison, I get it. You miss him, he's your best friend and he hasn't come to see you. It hurts, I get that."

His words made her eyes spill tears. He wiped them from her face with his thumb and crept in the bed next to her, gathering her in his arms and letting her cry softly on his chest. He placed a kiss in her hair and caressed her arm softly. After a while her crying had stopped but neither of them moved, falling asleep like that.

* * *

_**Next Day**_

* * *

"Sloan!" Alex yelled as soon as he found him coming out of a patient's room.

"Karev, don't yell. I have a headache." He replied.

"Addison asked for you yesterday." Alex spoke.

Mark's face fell. "She remembers me?"

"Yes. She said she didn't understand why her best friend didn't come to visit. And frankly, I don't either."

"You have no idea how she looked when she was brought in." Mark averting his eyes.

"I don't, but she looks good now. The cut on her head is healing well, her bruises are fading. It's just the broken leg."

"Karev, I get that you're looking out for her and I know that you are with her, but she was also mine. Maybe not for as long as she's yours but she was. And never have I ever seen her like that. It scared me. I thought she died! I thought Addison Forbes Montgomery, the woman who I spent five years of my life loving laid dead on a gurney in front of me, so forgive me if I need a moment to process what happened. "

They both were silent for a moment but Mark went on, "I am ecstatic that she remembers me without needing a trigger, without needing to see me. Maybe even honored, seen as she doesn't remember you. And I will see her when she gets better, but now that she's still so helpless, so vulnerable I will not see her. Addie is a strong and independent woman and she has never willingly shown that side of her unless she really trusts that person. And I'm not going to see her until she's back to her old self." Mark concluded and walked away.

Alex turned on his heels and walked to Addison's room. As much as he loved seeing her get better, he didn't want her to go home with Callie because that meant he couldn't see her every day. He had made arrangements with Callie about visiting Addison but he wasn't going to see her as much as he used to and that hurt.

"Ready to go?" He asked as soon as he set foot in the room. Addison was sitting in a wheel chair, which she knew was protocol but didn't like. And Callie was zipping up her suitcase.

"Yup." Addison replied, ticking on the side of wheelchair with her nails.

"All set. I just need some male force to zip this thing up." Callie said, trying to zip the suitcase up. Alex came to her rescue and fixed it in no time.

"I'll help you with that." He said as Callie wanted to take the suitcase from the bed. "You drive Addison."

They walked out of the room, to the entrance of the hospital.

"Thanks for the suitcase, Alex." Callie thanked him as soon as he loaded it into the trunk of the car.

"I hope to see you soon back on your feet. I'm really gonna miss you here." Alex said to Addison, pulling her in a hug.

"I'm gonna miss not having someone to beat at cards." Addison laughed. "Bye Alex."

"Goodbye Addison." He smiled, "Drive save." He said, giving her a kiss on her forehead.

He watched as the car drove out of the parking lot, bursting out in tears. _I lost her._

**Yay? Nay? Tell me :D **


	7. Oh No!

**Thank you for all these lovely reviews. And no, I'm not taking this to 'The Vow'. My mind came up with a totally different thing. You're most likely gonna hate me after this but I still love you guys. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's**

_Finally she turned into a road that was provided of more lights, but they weren't supposed to be in front of her right? And normally they don't become larger or .. Wait. Is that a tru- _

_A wave of calmness spread over her mind, thinking she died. Heaven. I'm going to heaven. Warmth. "Someone call 911!", "Oh my God, what have I done!", "Calm down!", "They're on the way!" People were shouting. That's what got her out of her reverie. Pain. Everywhere. She had banged her head, hard, her airbag didn't open. She was told not to move so she didn't. She was a doctor, she knew this. She could feel her leg bending in a way it shouldn't bend and she was pretty sure there was blood everywhere as she felt something running down her face. "Fire!", "Someone put out the fire!" Addison made a mental note that the warmth she felt earlier must've been fire. Another peak of pain went through her body. Something numbed the pain she was feeling. She floated. White. Until everything went black._

"Hey Callie!" Alex shouted as he spotted the attending sitting on a table, a salad in front of her nose.

"Alex." She nodded.

"How's Addie?" He asked as he took a chair and sat down.

"She's still fine. I know you're worried but I'm taking care of her."

"I know, I know but still. I miss her you know. She's not here, she's not at home." Alex said sadly.

"You can visit tomorrow Alex. She knows you're coming." Callie replied, picking a tomato from her plate and putting it in her mouth.

"Was she happy about it?" He asked, stealing one of her fries.

Callie eyed him suspiciously, "I think so. Alex if you are asking me if she's falling in love with you again, I don't think so. Not yet at least."

Alex sighed and sat back in his chair, "I'm pathetic I know."

"Alex you're not! Don't give up." Callie put a hand on his arm.

"I have to go." Alex stood up and walked in the direction of the nurse's station. He grabbed a chart and started to read it.

A throat was cleared. From someone he knew all too well. His head shot up and he stood face to face with Addison.

"Addie? What the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be resting!" Alex spoke as he hugged her, excited to see her again.

"Do you have any idea how boring it is to be home alone?" Addison asked.

He looked her up and down, she was wearing sweat pants with a classic coat. Her hair was in a messy bun but she still looked good. She leaned heavily on her crutches.

"I don't, I'm a surgical resident, I'm never home." Alex replied.

"True. Anyway, I thought I could hang around here for awhile." She squinted her eyes in pain.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked concerned.

"Yes, I um. I, -" Addison wasn't able to finish her sentence. Suddenly she fell and Alex was just in time to catch her. "Can I get a gurney?!" He yelled before mumbling to Addison, trying to wake her up. He lifted her onto the gurney that was given to him by the team of doctors that had surrounded him in the mean time. "Page Shepherd, the Chief and Dr. Torres for me." He said to the nurse standing next to him. They moved to Trauma Room 1 and they examined her. Derek busted through the door, "What happened?"

"She visited, she was bored and all of a sudden she fell." Alex said desperately.

"Read through her chart, what could've been the cause?" Derek ordered.

Alex did as asked, he briefly read the small text the paramedic announces when they bring the patient in. _Addison Montgomery, aged 37, minimally conscious in the field. Superficial wounds on the head and left forearm, right leg is broken. The airbag didn't go off. Has been unconscious for approximately 10 minutes. _He cringed but read further through the chart.

"Oh God." He suddenly announced.

"What?! What is it?! Alex!" Derek almost yelled.

_Airbag didn't go off._

"They didn't take a head CT." Alex threw the chart aside and pulled Addison's bed to the door.

"Fuck!" Derek exclaimed, following Alex closely. They rushed her into the room and took the CT.

"She's bleeding into her brain, I have to operate. I have to operate now!" Derek spoke firmly, rolling his ex-wife to the OR. Alex followed. "Hell if I'm letting you scrub in Karev. No way."

"Let me at least go as far as I can." Alex looked pleadingly.

"Fine." Derek agreed.

Addison's eyes flickered open and shut. "Addie?" Alex bent over the bed, her eyes doing the same thing until they opened long enough for her to say in a whisper, "I, I hate him but. He's the best." And her eyes closed again, not responding.

"Karev, this is as far as you can go." Derek said.

Alex let tears fall from his eyes as he bent over, kissing Addison's lips. "Addie, don't die. Please, I love you. You can't die, we're getting married. I love you Addison."

"We have to go now." Derek said almost emotionless, knowing that if he watched Alex cry one more second, he'd break down himself.

**Sorry :/ If you review I'll upload faster :$**

**-A**


	8. Cray Cray Craniotomy

**As a sorry for last chapter, I present this one to you. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own**

12 hours. That's how long Addison's craniotomy seemed to take, when in reality it had only been 3. Alex was furiously pacing up and down the hallway, waiting for Derek to come out and tell him the good news, but the clock kept on ticking and there was still no sign of Derek. He was so focused on the OR door he had completely missed the Chief walking up to him.

"How long has she been in?" His deep voice announced his presence.

Alex's head shot up and he looked at his watch, "Three hours and 2 minutes."

"Craniotomies can take up to 5 hours, Karev. This doesn't mean there's something wrong." Richard tried to calm him down.

"I know." Alex nodded softly.

Richard sat down on one of the chairs and motioned for Alex to do the same. He cleared his throat and started, "I remember it like it was yesterday, when you and Addie came to announce your relationship. I was mad and I didn't understand why of all people Addison had to begin a relationship with an intern. She was always the smart one, the most well-behaved and I just never pictured her with someone who wasn't her age. Of course I thought it was revenge at first, seeing how devastated she was after Derek left her, I thought she wanted to prove that she could also get an intern of her own. But then when both of you walked out of my office on to the catwalk, on your ways back to work, you stopped her. And it wasn't to attract attention from anyone because there was no one else on the catwalk with you. You wiped a hair out of her face and told her some things, which I couldn't understand. You made her smile and kissed her softly. That smile, it was one of those smiles that was reserved for a few people only. It was the same smile she'd given Derek in the beginning of their marriage, the one that says 'I love you so much I would do everything for you, even if it means risking my career or reputation'. She loves you Alex and right now, she might not remember you but she will. I strongly believe that she will."

"I hope so." Alex said, on the verge of crying.

Their moment was interrupted by Derek, who busted through the door. "She's good, she's gonna make it. I was able to repair all of it. They're bringing her to the ICU right now. She's still under but she'll awake soon."

Alex rose to his feet and embraced Derek, which was pretty unusual but he was so caught up in his emotions that he didn't care at all. "Thank you so much for saving her." He whispered. Derek patted his shoulder, whispering back, "You're welcome."

They simultaneously pulled back from the hug finding the Chief gone. "You want to see her?" Derek asked, already walking in the direction of her new room. "Of course. So no complications?"

"No complications." Derek confirmed.

They rushed to her room and Derek bumped into Alex, who stopped moving as soon as he saw her.

"What's wrong Alex?" Derek asked concerned, following his gaze.

Addison was still intubated, waiting for the anesthesia to wear off. And around her head was a white bandage. She looked even more fragile than the last time Alex saw her laying in a hospital bed. He was used to seeing people like this, but with his Addison, everything was different. He moved closer to Addison, sitting in the chair that was standing beside her bed and took her hand in his.

"Page me when she's awake?" Derek spoke. Alex nodded and Derek left the room.

Alex sighed and laid his head down on Addison's bed, falling asleep quickly.

About an hour later he awoke when he felt Addison's hands stir. He was suddenly wide awake when he saw that she was fighting the tube. He got it out of her throat and then paged Derek.

"Alex?" She asked, her throat still sore.

"Yes Addie, I'm here." He replied, taking her hands in his again.

"My head hurts, what the hell happened?" She asked confusedly.

"You came to see me and you fell. Apparently you had a brain bleed because one son of a bitch-"

"Language."

"Because someone forgot to take a head CT. You had a craniotomy so headache is normal." He concluded.

"Is she awake?" Derek busted through the door.

"Yes I am." Addison replied, taking peace with Derek because after all he saved her life.

Derek walked over to the bed and shone with a light in Addison's eyes, testing her responses.

"Okay, can you wiggle your toes?" Derek continued his exam. All of their eyes fixated on Addison's toes, sighing in relief when she wiggled them.

"Are you experiencing any nausea, dizziness, headache?" Derek went on.

"Yes, and not even a little bit." Addison said, bringing a hand to her head to prove her point.

"Well that's normal, but you know that. If there's anything unusual just page me but I'm sure Alex will take good care of you." Derek smiled and walked out.

"You want to get some rest?" Alex asked, standing up.

"Yes but um, could you stay with me? I don't want to be alone right now." Addison confessed.

"Anything for you." Alex spoke softly, sitting back down in the chair.

"Oh no, no, no, you're getting in bed with me. If I'm going to make you sleep here I should at least give you a comfortable bed." Addison protested, holding up her blanket. Alex kicked of his shoes and got in the bed, taking Addison in his arms. And they were both fast asleep.

**I don't know if a person who just awoke from a craniotomy should be doing that much of talking... You tell me ;)**


	9. In Which Addison Remembers Some More

**Don't really have that much time to write, so it's a shortie :) Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

Addison woke up with a throbbing headache but was pleased to find herself still laying in Alex's arms, which made everything better. She still couldn't believe how good she felt herself around him, it almost had something familiar. Smiling at her thoughts, she smelled his scrubs. _They totally smell like him._ Addison thought. Suddenly, Callie appeared at the door, whispering if she could come in. Addison nodded, which was probably not the best thing to do when you had a headache so she cringed at the shot of pain that went through her.

"Look at you already smiling, you just had a craniotomy." Callie whispered.

"How can you not?" Addison whispered back, pointing her eyes to a sleeping Alex aside of her.

"Addison Montgomery, are you falling for your intern?" Callie whispered teasingly.

"No." She whispered back, but her smile said more than a thousand words.

Callie laughed out loud which awoke Alex, who smiled as he saw the redhead was still lying in his arms. "Sorry!" Callie apologized.

"No problem, morning!" He replied and looked at Addison, "Good morning to you too. How's the head?"

"Hurting but it's okay. I was just asking Callie to increase the amount of morphine." Addison said, trying to cover up what they were talking about earlier.

"You know, you really should ask Shepherd about that." Alex spoke.

"Yeah maybe you should. I'll get him for you. Take care Addie." Callie spoke accusingly, leaving the two alone.

"Did you sleep well?" Alex asked Addison, as soon as Callie left the room.

"Wonderful! Were you comfortable?" She asked in return.

"Totally." He smiled, remembering he still had to work.

"Gotta go to work. See you later?" Alex asked hopefully, kissing the top of her head, before getting out of bed.

"Yes, have fun." She smiled back, resting her head when he was gone.

She hadn't even been resting for two minutes when a knock interrupted her thoughts. Her head shot up to see who it was and her face lit up immediately. "Mark! You came!"

"Addie, I'm so sorry I'm only visiting now but I-" Mark started, coming closer.

"I know, Alex told me." She replied.

"So you're not mad?"

"How could I be mad at you? You're my best friend, I missed you!" Addison spread her arms, pulling him into a hug. "This feels good." She said, "Don't ever disappear for that long again, Mark Sloan!"

"Wouldn't dare! I'll always be present." Mark smiled.

"You'll always be present." Addison repeated, her face showing no emotions.

"That's what I said yeah. Addie? Are you okay?"

* * *

_"He's late, he's late again! Why do I even wait for him Mark? Tell me why? Is there one good reason I shouldn't divorce him? Why I should stay with him? I mean, is he having an affair?" Addison ranted, pacing through her own living room. Mark was sitting on the couch and watched her intently. "Derek wouldn't have an affair, I'd know about that." He confessed._

_"Well then what is it? I mean, did I become ugly? Or fat? Am I not attractive enough for him? Not smart enough? Why the hell doesn't my own husband love me anymore?" She practically yelled._

_"Addie, calm down! Derek still loves you, he has just a lot on his plate right now." Mark tried to defend his best friend. _

_"Stop defending him Mark." She snapped and stopped pacing, letting her head fall in her hands. "Why does every guy leave me? Am I not worth it?" _

_Mark took hold of her wrists, making her look into his eyes, "Add, you're a gorgeous, smart, funny woman and don't let anyone give you doubts about that. Not even Derek. And not every guy leaves you, I'm here right? I'm staying, I'm present. I'll always be present." _

_She knew it was wrong, she knew it and yet she wondered why she hadn't seen this earlier. Mark clearly loved her, he'd been in love with her and she was too busy with Derek being absent, that she completely missed it. Slowly she leaned in, her gaze switching to his lips. He cupped her face and caressed her cheeks with his thumb. Their lips met in a passionate kiss and by now tears were rolling over her face. They pulled back and Mark flashed her a smile, wiping her tears from her face. She returned the smile and crashed her lips down on his. Mark lifted her in one swift motion and she locked her legs behind his back. He walked up the stairs and she pushed his jacket of his shoulders, both disappearing in the bedroom._

* * *

"Holy crap, we're had an affair." Addison said, staring into nowhere.

"Yes, we did Addie." Mark spoke calmly, not knowing what exactly she remembered.

"You have to get out of here Mark. What if Derek sees us together?" Addison panicked.

"But Addie-" Mark tried but Addison cut him off, "Get out Mark. Come back another time."

Mark obeyed to her wish and slowly walked out of the room, turning around one last time, "It was good seeing you again."

**Reviews are greatly appreciated!**


	10. Falling Or Flying

**Sorry for the late update but I couldn't finish it yesterday because I took a First Aid course. But here it is!**

**Disclaimer: I own a certificate of First Aid now ;)**

It had only been 3 hours since Mark came and visited her. Between now and then, Alex and Callie both had come to visit her but she didn't mention that Mark had come. At least, not what she remembered. She knew that it was essential to tell them or Derek every time she remembered something, but this? No, she was keeping this a secret. She had been so cruel to Meredith, so angry with Derek and now she finds out she did it herself? Unbelievable.

"Addie! How are you?" Derek's voice got her out of her reverie.

Addison looked up startled, "Um, I'm good."

"Headache?" He asked, scribbling something on her chart.

"Yeah." She answered softy.

"Can you still move your toes?" He questioned.

Addison wiggled them instead of answering. Secretly, she hoped, no scratch that, she prayed that Derek would just leave. Derek could see she was getting anxious but decided not to push anything.

"Okay, well I'll see you later. Take care.

"Yeah." She agreed softly and turned on her right side which prevented her from seeing Callie entering.

"Hey, how are you?" Callie asked, making herself comfortable in one of the chairs next to the bed.

"Fine." Addison answered, her tone was monotone.

"What's wrong?" Callie asked cautiously.

"Nothing, I'm fine." Addison answered using the same tone she answered with before.

"No you're not, you can tell me you know. That's what friends are for." Callie said a little less sweet than before.

Addison sat up straight, cleared her throat and put her hair behind her ears. She started fumbling with her fingers. "Mark visited me." She confessed.

"Did he do something to get you this sad? 'Cause I swear to God, if he did-"

Addison cut Callie off, "No! No, Cal. He, I, -" She sighed, "I remembered something."

"You remembered something." Callie repeated slowly, studying Addison's face closely. "Specifics?"

Addison looked around to check if no one was spying on her. She knew it sounded ridiculous but she didn't have to remember anything to know what Seattle Grace nurse's craved gossip.

"I had an affair with Mark." She whispered and was shocked to find Callie smiling. "This is not funny! I've got serious problems!"

"I'm sorry, it's not funny. It's just. You remembered and that's a good thing." Callie explained, scooting over so that she could put her hands on Addison's. "It's a good thing, remember that."

Addison nodded, "It's all so complicated. What is up with all the men in my life?"

"About that." Callie started, "What's up with you and Alex. You like him?"

"He's my friend of course I like him." Addison answered, ignoring what Callie actually meant with her question.

"Addie, are you falling for him? There's nothing wrong with that you know."

"I don't know. He's sweet, caring, funny and God knows he's not bad to look at either but. Are those really the things that make you fall in love? I mean, I do like him sure. Every time he kisses me goodbye or hugs me or when we're talking, it just feels familiar in a strange way. You understand?" Addison explained.

"Yeah. I understand." She paused, "Look I gotta go back to work now. See you later?"

Callie waved one more time and rushed out of Addison's room, looking for Alex. It didn't take long for her to find him. "Alex!" She shouted and walked over to where he was sitting.

"What's up?" He asked, reading over a chart.

"I just had a little talk with Addison." Callie started and that was all it took for Alex to listen.

"Apparently Mark visited her and she had a flashback. She remembers she cheated but she thinks the affair is still a secret." Callie went on but was interrupted by Alex.

"Oh great, yet another lover she remembers that's not me." He said sadly.

"Let me finish!" She slapped him lightly on the shoulder. "She talked about you. Well I asked her about you and she said that whenever she's with you, it feels familiar. Alex, I think that one, she's close to remembering you and two, she might be falling for you even if she doesn't." Callie concluded excitedly.

"Are you serious?" Alex asked.

"Why would I make that up?" Callie answered.

Alex stood up and got ready to go to Addison's room. He had to see the signs for himself. When he got to her room he stared through the window for awhile. She was resting on her right side, her back to the door. Her red hair was spilled all over her shoulders. He knocked lightly, not waiting for a response to get in. "Hey." He greeted casually, walking over to peck her cheek as usual but as he did she pulled away. In one second his world crashed down once again. "What's wrong Addie?"

She sat up straight once again, sighed and started, "Look Alex. I know you like me and to be honest I like you too but we can't do this. I'm not a good person and you are Alex. You are such a good person, you're sweet and caring and loving and you're amazing and I'm me."

"Addison what are you talking about? You're not just you, you're Addison. You _are_ a good person and you _are_ amazing." Alex asked, hurt evident in his eyes.

"I cheated on Derek, I had an affair. I'm not a good person. I hurt people and I don't want to hurt you too. I think it's best we just stay friends." Addison concluded.

_I think it's best we just stay friends._

Alex repeated the sentence in his head a million time. Callie had got his hopes up. Just when he thought he could have a future with Addison, it was all taken away. He believed and it was all for nothing.

_I think it's best we just stay friends._

Maybe it is.

**Thoughts? Comments? Bad? Good? Mediocre? Tell me!**


	11. Everybody Talks

__**An extra long chapter! (Which is normally the length of a normal chapter but anyway). I hope you enjoyyyyyyy!**

**I don't own anything!**

_I should tell him. No, I shouldn't. But maybe it's best that I do. No, Addison, keep your mouth shut. But-, no he doesn't want to hear it. He'll be mad, devastated, it's his best friend for God's sake. Just shut it, don't tell him, he wasn't honest with you either. But he did fix my brain, I owe him the truth. Plus I yelled at him when there was no reason to. Come on, we're divorced, it doesn't matter. What if he gets mad? Maybe he'll attack me with a scalpel! No, he wouldn't do that. But then again, I never thought I'd throw a vase at someone. What time is it? 11 am. Alex'll be here any minute now. He'll protect me for sure. He will protect me._

"Addie, stop staring! It's freaking me out." Derek remarked as he scribbled the last thing down on her chart.

"Sorry." She said, looking down, fumbling with her fingers.

"Okay, tell me. What's the problem?" Derek asked, closing the chart and hanging it on her bed.

"What?" Her head shot up.

"Fumbling with your fingers or rings." He clarified.

"You know about that? I thought it was Alex who discovered the logic behind that."

"We were married for 11 years. Now shoot." He said as he sat next to her on the bed.

She sighed, "Okay, um. Please don't get mad but Mark came to visit." She confessed.

"So? I thought that was a good thing." He smiled.

"And I remembered some more." She spoke softly. He didn't answer and she was unsure if she should continue.

"I remembered that Mark and I," She paused for a moment. "I remembered that Mark and I had an affair." She closed her eyes, thinking maybe he would hit her in all frustration.

"It's good that you remember that Adds." He said, standing up.

"What the hell? Why are you reacting this way? You don't even care? Did I really mean nothing to you Derek?" She ranted and Derek stopped her.

"I knew."

Addison was shocked, "You knew? Why didn't you tell me? You'd think that you would mention such an important element right?"

"I wanted you to remember things by yourself. And I wouldn't really drop the bomb on you when you were just out of surgery. Oh hey Addison, you cheated too and the entire hospital hated you for it." He mocked only now realizing what he'd just said.

"THE ENTIRE HOSPITAL KNOWS?!" She screeched out. "Derek Christopher Shepherd sit your ass back down and tell me the entire story now!" She yelled.

He obeyed and sat down, "Okay, you said you remembered us going back to the trailer right? Ordering take out because we didn't have place in the one restaurant?" She nodded and he continued. "This all kind of started before. After 10 years of marriage I kind of became distant of you, maybe it was earlier, I don't know. I stayed at work, was barely home and let Mark take care of you. I let him take care of you when I was supposed to that. He was there on birthdays, on anniversaries and whatevers. And this one night I come home and I notice there's something different. Normally you would be upstairs asleep and I would lay down on the sofa, as not to wake you. But now, all of the lights were on, the TV was still on. I went upstairs and I stumbled over Mark's jacket and by then I knew it. I opened the door and saw the two of you in an embrace, naked. I was so angry, at you, at Mark, but also at myself. Angry that I let it come this far. I took all of your clothes out of the closet and threw them out in the rain, along with you. You cried, banged on the door and I let you back in and left myself." He paused and gauged her reaction. "Addie, if I'm hurting you, I can tell you another time."

"No, I wanna know." She said so he continued.

"Richard called me for a case, offered me a job as a neurosurgeon. It came in at just the right time. I took the offer and moved to Seattle. Bought a land and stayed in the trailer for awhile. I met Meredith on my first night here. I was a one night stand to her, but she wasn't to me. Later at work I found out I was her boss. I kept running after her until she caved and when we were doing great you showed up. You had stayed with Mark during that time, apparently you had an abortion when you caught him in bed with someone else. I only heard about that recently. But you came and I didn't tell Meredith that I was married and she got upset and left me. You gave me divorce papers and I hesitated if I should sign them. Once again, Meredith was not happy with that and after a while I decided to give our marriage another try. You fought really hard and I didn't, which was once again not fair from me. During that time the interns started to hate you because they stuck up for Meredith and the entire story got out of course. And when Richard gave this prom for his niece in the hospital, I slept with Meredith. You found her panties in my tux and we were over. The trailer thing you remembered must've been during the time we got back together. That was kind of a short summary of what happened. "

Addison looked defeated. They were silent for awhile, holding hands. "I'm sorry." She said. "I'm sorry too." He replied.

"Is there more?" She asked hopefully.

"I got back together with Meredith. Well actually she dated me and a vet, but I'm not getting into her love life. She chose me and then Mark came back out here. Richard offered him a job and he stayed. He kept ogling you and trying to be with you but you refused a lot of times. By this time you lived at the Archfield, the hotel, so I don't really know if you guys got back together. But I don't think you wanted to give him another shot. I knew that you were kind of checking out Karev but I don't know either if there ever came something of that. You had a 60 days bet with Mark, I do know about that. You would give, you both as a couple a shot, if he didn't have sex with anyone for 60 days. He called it off later, said he had sex with someone." He swallowed, knowing he should start talking about the Alex part. This was going to be the hardest. "And then, uh, you-"

"Shepherd? What are you doing here?" Alex busted through the door and noticed Addison's sad face.

"Oh my God, what's going on?"

"Derek told me the entire story. Well I don't know if it's finished yet but something about a 60 days bet that seemed kinda creepy." She smiled and he did too.

Derek stood up, "I think I'm gonna go now." He said and waved Addison goodbye. "I didn't get to you yet." He whispered to Alex and left.

"So, what did he tell you?" Alex shifted awkwardly on his feet, not knowing what to do.

"Everything I assume. From back in New York until here. Feels weird, not remembering some stuff." She spoke softly.

"I can only imagine. Didn't you remember now Derek told you?" He asked cautiously.

"Some things. Not everything. Especially after the divorce is really blurry. The other things I kind of do remember faintly." She admitted.

"Well, um, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to make a walk, since you're in bed all the time." Alex asked, clasping his hands together nervously.

"Yeah okay, will you give me my crutches?" She stuck out her hands. And Alex handed her the crutches. She swung her feet out of the bed and he helped put on a slipper for her left foot. He straightened her sweats and when he was done he looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry for yesterday, Alex. I was just overreacting to finding out about that thing with Mark and I hope you can forgive me." She spoke.

"Of course I can." He answered, pulling her into a hug and kissing her cheek. "Now come on, let's get you walking."

After half an hour they decided to make a stop in the cafeteria, to get a drink and a snack. He spotted his friends lunching at a table and walked slow enough for Addison to follow.

"Here he is, our long lost son." Cristina announced.

"Addison! How are you doing?" Meredith asked.

"I'm doing fine. Derek just told me about the divorce. I'm sorry I threw a vase at you, you weren't the one to blame." Addison apologized.

"It's alright." Meredith smiled.

"So dr. Montgomery, how long until that cast is off your leg? We gotta get you back, your replacement is rubbish!" Cristina asked.

Addison laughed. She loved it that they missed her. "About 3.5 weeks. I might get going here before it's taken off."

"You need to rest. Your craniotomy wasn't even a week ago!" Alex interfered.

"I know, I know! I just get lonely okay, it's boring to sit alone in a room for so long." Addison whined.

"I check on you like 5 times a day! And so does Callie. And Derek visits you too once a day. And what about all the other people?" Alex summed up, using his fingers.

"I know but still." Addison pouted.

"Real cute. Pouts don't work on me." He laughed and she joined in.

Meredith and Cristina locked eyes and although they would normally think this is too PDA, they let it go for once and left the table, leaving the two alone.

**They're not together yet FYI, but we're getting close. Reviews would be so freaking amazing!**


	12. Kiss Me

**Hi! Thanks for reviewing and to Sam H 1997: I'll probably stop the story soon after she actually remembers him unless there's a massive response of people who want me to make a sequel, which I doubt :)**

**-insert disclaimer-**

"Eat it!"

"No!"

"Eat the damn bagel!" Alex laughed, trying to feed Addison a bagel, almost pushing it in her face.

Addison pushed the bagel away and kept her lips tight on each other. "I'm not eating any more bagels. They're disgusting here."

"Well you don't want to eat the fries and the meat because they're either too bad or too hard or too fattening. You don't eat salad because you think it tastes like plastic. Of course we can forget about pizza. And the soup is too watery. It's either bagel or nothing." Alex took his hands back, looking at her questioning.

"I want you to bring me good food." She smiled.

He stared at her for a while before shoving the bagel back into her mouth, "Just eat the damn bagel, you like bagels!"

"Oh my God. Alexander Michael Karev stop that NOW!" She screeched out, laughing hard.

Alex took his hands back and his face went serious. "You said my name. You said my full name."

Addison's face fell, bringing her hands to her mouth. Like she couldn't believe those words just came out of there. "I said your entire name? How am I supposed to know that?"

"You're remembering Addie." Alex smiled, his face beaming. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek.

"I'm remembering." She said unbelievingly.

"Guys, guys, guys." Alex shouted as he rushed over to the table where his friends were eating lunch.

"What's up, ES?" Cristina asked, taking a bite from her sandwich.

Alex sat down on a chair and looked at Cristina questioningly, "ES?"

"Evil Spawn." She clarified like it's the most normal thing in the world.

"Okay, never mind. Addison remembered my full name. Like actually full first, middle name and last name." Happiness was dripping of his face.

"Good! You think it would take long before she remembers you're you?" Meredith asked.

"I don't know. I hope not. But this is a step further right? Maybe it's because Derek told her so many things yesterday. I think it triggered her memory like a lot." He explained.

"Didn't she think it was weird that she knows your full name? I mean Bailey or Shepherd doesn't know your full name." George wondered.

"She didn't ask anything about it and I'm not bringing it up!" He answered, looking at Meredith who was eating some yoghurt. "Where did you get that from?"

"It's today's special; yoghurt, strawberry taste. Not the crappy hospital kind but the good stuff." Meredith explained, wondering why he wanted to know that.

"Okay good, maybe Adds will like that." He stood up, grabbed a yoghurt and a spoon and went to see Addison.

He stopped in front of her door when he saw that Mark was inside. He knew it was wrong but eavesdropped anyway.

"It's good that you remember right?" He heard Mark say.

"Yeah it is. I'm finally healing. That also means I'm going to have to leave the hospital." Addison spoke.

"And that's a problem, why?" Mark laughed.

"I'm just going to miss Alex, that's all." Addison confessed and Alex's eyes started to tear up. _She was going to miss him!_

"Addie Montgomery, are you falling for your intern?" Mark smirked.

"Don't even dare telling him!" Addison warned, holding out her pointer finger to stress it.

"I won't. Just so you know, he'll be glad to hear that." He spoke, grabbing her finger and putting it down.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you and told you to get out of my room." Addison apologized.

"It's okay, Red." He kissed her cheek and Alex heard footsteps nearing so he hid around the corner until he was sure Mark had gone out of her room.

"Yoghurt?" Alex asked as soon as he came in, holding up the cups.

"Gimme!" Addison held out her hands, taking the yoghurt from his hands.

"So you want to eat yoghurt and no bagels?" He teased.

"Shut it! I was gonna give you the last two bites but now I'm eating it all." She smiled.

She held out her spoon suggestively and moved it slowly to her mouth but Alex was faster than her and grabbed her hand, taking her with it and their faces were now only a couple of inches away from each other. Addison looked at his lips and he looked at hers. Their eyes met and she leaned in and captured his lips. The kiss was soft and sweet. They pulled back simultaneously and this time he leaned in. Alex brushed his lips against hers and she parted hers to give him better access. He slipped his tongue in her mouth, meshing his tongue with hers. This one was longer, more passionate. They pulled back when air was a necessity.

She rested her back against her pillow. "I'm sorry." She said, unsure of what to say.

"I'm not." He replied softly.

"Me neither, I lied." She smiled and he chuckled. She stuck out her spoon that was still filled with yoghurt and he gladly licked it off, moaning in approval.

"You like it?" She laughed, eating some herself.

"I have tasted better things in the past." He grinned, leaning in to place a soft kiss on her lips.

"Karev! A word." Their kiss was interrupted by Callie, who had seen everything. He muttered an apology to Addison and ran after Callie outside.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Callie demanded.

"She remembered my name. My full name! And I grabbed her some yoghurt and we were just teasing each other and she leaned in first. I swear to God I wouldn't force her into anything." Alex defended himself.

Callie sighed, "This is going to be a big mess once she remembers. And she's going to be pissed at you too."

"Don't I know it." He replied, for once not caring.

**One step closer to actually remembering him right? So for all this cuteness I deserve a review, don't ya think :$**


	13. When It All Falls Down

**I was too depressed yesterday to finish it! Sorry! But here it is :) What do you think about making this story 15 chapters?**

**Disclaimer: i don't own anything**

"Okay, you ready?" Callie asked with a big smile on her face, holding the saw close to Addison's cast.

It had been a week ever since Addison and Alex started a relationship and finally Addison's broken leg was healed and the cast could come off. She had been more than excited as she could finally walk normally again.

"Oh, I'm ready." Addison chuckled, her hand instinctively wrapping around Alex.

The saw went through Addison's cast, making her leg pop out. "Ah, it's good to see you, leg." Addison spoke. Alex chuckled, "Cute." And he gave her a small kiss. She swung her legs over the side of the table and hopped off, carefully testing her newly set leg. After a minute, she was walking around like nothing had happened.

"So you get to go home in 2 days, how are you feeling about that?" Callie asked after Alex had to check on a patient. She was cleaning up the remains of her cast.

"Good, I guess. I mean I'll probably stay with Alex, but I don't know what to do with my stuff. I don't even know where my stuff is. With Derek probably but yeah anyway. I should be happy about it, I mean, it'll be good for Alex's and my relationship." Addison spoke, still testing her newly won freedom.

"You mean consummate the relationship." Callie grinned.

Addison laughed, "Yes Cal, I mean consummate the relationship. Wouldn't you want to do it with such a hot guy?"

"Yeah yeah, you're right Montgomery. Now go, be with your_ boyfriend_." Callie smiled.

Addison went out of the room into the hallway and almost bumped into Alex. "Wow, I was just coming to look for you." He explained as he steadied Addison.

"And I was coming to look for you. Coincidence?" She smiled.

"I don't think so." He kissed her softly on the lips.

"You know, now that your cast is off, you can do a lot more things." Alex said huskily.

Addison lifted her eyebrow mischievously, "What are you suggesting?"

"We could, go to a restaurant." He kissed her lips softly, "Go for a walk." Kiss "Go back to my place." Kiss, "Watch a movie." Kiss, "And cuddle until we fall asleep together." Kiss.

Addison looked up at him, smiling at his sweetness. "And maybe cuddling could turn into something else." She added, looking at him suggestively. She threw her arms around his neck and placed kisses all over his jaw. Alex's pager interrupted their moment. "Gotta go." He spoke, brushing his lips one more time against hers. "I've got a consult with Derek anyways." She said and they parted ways.

Addison found Derek waiting in her room, looking through one of the magazines she was reading before. "And? Do you put your career before men?" Addison chuckled and Derek looked up startled, "What?" He asked warily.

"The quiz." She pointed at the test in the magazine and he put it away, "You weren't here, so I thought I entertained myself until you came back. It's great to see you without the cast." He remarked as Addison sat back on the bed. "We just need to do some tests and then you'd be good to go home." He smiled.

"Good. Even though I love wearing dresses and skirts, I'll miss the sweats." Addison told Derek while he was running tests on her.

"Really? Addison Forbes Montgomery likes sweats?" Derek laughed.

Addison slapped his shoulder weakly. "No really, I liked being taken care of." Derek chuckled, "I'm not surprised. So how are things with Alex?" He moved to the other side of the bed. "They're fine, good, great, amazing. He is amazing. I don't know why I didn't notice him before." She admitted.

Derek sighed, "Well it's great that you found him." Addison rested her head back on her pillow, "Richard wants me to stay home a little longer before I get back to work."

"Don't you think that's normal? You just had a craniotomy and you had a car crash. The man wants to give you some time." Derek clarified. "Well yeah but it's been a month. And I'm doing better now, my cast is off, you're going to clear me and my memory is back." Addison protested.

"I still think you should take it slow." Derek confessed, putting away the light, he shone in her eyes. "But you are being cleared, everything looks good. You should be out of here in 2 days."

"Great." Addison muttered as Derek exited and almost bumped into Alex on his way out.

"False code." Alex explained, "So are you cleared?" He sat down on the side of her bed. "Yes, everything was alright, in 2 days I get to go home." She smiled and put her face closer to his, their foreheads leaning against each other, "And then we can do whatever you'd like." She whispered huskily. "Good lord, I love you." He said before leaning in and giving her a passionate kiss.

* * *

_One remark had lead to an almost kiss, another remark had lead to an actual kiss. Jealousy had lead to on-call room sex. Him, trying to scare her away had lead to more sex. Six dates had lead to an actual relationship. One year of sleepovers had lead to getting their own place. And one year of living together had brought him here, to Alex proposing to Addison. She had said yes immediately, no doubt. She jumped in his arms, her legs locking behind his back, her eyes not tearing away from her new ring. She kissed him so passionately, she never wanted to come up for air. "Engaged, we're engaged. This so calls or engagement sex." She had spoken, laughing as she couldn't believe she was in this situation. Alex had carried her to the bedroom, "Good lord, I love you."_

* * *

Addison broke the kiss, staring at him, tears filling her eyes. He saw something was wrong, "Addie? Are you okay?" He asked concerned. "We were together. We, we were engaged and you didn't tell me? What the hell Alex?" She distanced herself from him, disgust present in her voice.

"Addison, you remember me?" He asked cautiously. He was going to explode with happiness inside. She laid back on her bed, her back towards him, "I just want to be alone right now. Just give me a minute." She spoke and he knew he should obey before making it worse.

**So... That's awkward. Just like me asking for reviews. But will ya ? :$**


	14. Mad

**Oh my God! is being a pain in the ass and forbade me to upload last chapter but apparently it's online right now so those who haven't read chapter 13, read that one before reading this one. If this one ever gets online that is :D One more chapter to go! So if you want to see something, you're going to have to request it quickly :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

**Oh and the text in****_ italics _****are thoughts, no flashbacks!**

_He kissed me, when I woke up. He kissed me and he was too devastated to just be my intern. I saw that but I didn't ask myself any questions. I knew his name, I knew his full name and I didn't ask myself any questions. He felt familiar, his touch, our talks, our kisses. It felt familiar and I didn't ask myself why. How did I not remember such an important thing. Why did he not tell me? Why didn't Derek tell me? Why didn't Callie tell me? Why didn't anyone tell me? _

Addison hadn't changed her position ever since she sent Alex away. She was trying to recall the signs, which made everything more painful as they were completely obvious. If only she looked a little further she could've figured out on her own. Or if only they'd just told her, she could've remembered earlier and none of this would've happened.

Someone knocked on her door. _Crap. _"Go away." She spoke, hoping the person would obey. "Addison, Alex just came to find me. He's a mess. He thought he finally had you back and you sent him away." Derek was still standing in the opening of the door. Last time she told someone to get out, she threw a vase so he was being careful. "Oh so my _fiancée_ is heartbroken that I sent him away. Because I wanted two minutes for myself to process all of this. Why does everyone feel so sorry for him when I was the one being lied to? When I made a fool of myself in front of everyone? I am so mad I can't even look at you Derek! You had plenty occasions to tell me and you didn't so don't play the victim here."

"Addie, I heard." She heard Callie say, who was panting and had clearly ran up to her room.

"Yeah Callie, awesome. What ever happened to best friends tell each other everything?" Addison spat. She would normally never be this cruel or harsh towards either of them but she was just really upset. "Addison don't do this." Callie pleaded but Addison didn't answer anymore.

Derek cleared his throat, "Just so you know, it was my idea. I told Alex that you would remember, I told Alex to not tell you, to let you figure it out on your own. I told him it was better to stimulate your brain instead of just telling you. It's my fault. He wanted to tell you a thousand times and every time I said no. You love him Addison, and he loves you. Isn't the fact that you fell for him twice, proof enough? Be mad at me, not at him. He doesn't deserve it." Derek concluded, walking out of the room. Tears were streaming over Addison's face. "He's right you know. Alex just wanted to do what was best for you." Callie concluded, closed Addison's door and left.

_I should've told her, I had plenty of occasions to tell her. But she never asked questions. Of course she's mad, she has every right to be mad. I just should've ignored Shepherd and told her everything and then this wouldn't be such a mess. God! I messed up so badly._

His inner monologue was interrupted by the voice of Meredith, Cristina, George and Izzie. "Oh here you are.!" "We've been looking for you everywhere!" And other variants came from their mouths. "We heard. She's going to come around, Alex. She loves you." Meredith reasoned.

"I should've told her." Alex spoke, his voice void of emotion.

"Even if you told her, she maybe wouldn't even believed you." Cristina said as compassionate as she could as they all sat down on the ground with him. "We're over. We're done. What kind of husband would I even be. I don't even tell my future wife, I'm her soon-to-be-husband." Alex spoke.

"I think the fact that you didn't because Shepherd told you not to, makes you a great one." Izzie said.

"Um guys." Callie peeked around the corner. "Is there something wrong?" Alex stood up concerned. Callie shook her head, "No. I just came from Addison and Derek did a pretty good speech so you might want to go see her in an hour. Just give her some time." She concluded and walked away. He sank to the ground again, next to his friends, sighing for the millionth time that day.

The hour crept by slowly, but Alex followed Callie's instructions precisely. He was just about to get up when he got a text message. He took his cell phone out of his labcoat eagerly and his heart started racing as he saw who it was from.

**Addison: ** Come, please?

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him and busted through her door to see Addison lying in the exact same position as she was in hours ago. She turned, lying on her back, when she heard him entering. Slowly, she pulled the covers aside which was an indication for him to lay next to her. "I wouldn't have believed you." She spoke suddenly. "What?" He asked softly. "If you had told me. I probably wouldn't even believed you." She clarified herself. He didn't say anything.

"Are there any other things I should know about?" She asked, looking up at him expectantly, meeting his eyes for the first time. "Not that I know of." He smiled. "Good." She snuggled into him closer muttering a muffled "I love you." Against his chest. She didn't think he would hear but only seconds later she heard him reply "I love you more." against her hair.

**If you have a request, tell me :) **


	15. Home

**The last one! I had a fun ride! Thank you to everyone for following, favoriting, reviewing and reading! It's a short one but hopefully a good one! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I stole the "Sleep with me" line from PP**

**Two days later**

"Okay. Clothes are in that bag, slippers in this one. Hairbrush, toothbrush and all that crap are in this one as well. All of your amusement is in the little one over there. I think we got it all. Oh! And your laundry is in a separate bag with the rest of your clothes." Alex concluded after having packed almost everything while Addison was being discharged.

"Great! You didn't have to put the laundry separate, I'm going to wash everything." Addison spoke, as she was looking around her room, making sure she didn't forget anything. "Why?" Alex spoke confusedly, checking under the bed.

"Because now they smell like hospital." Addison clarified. "You work in a hospital." Alex retorted. "Yeah but now my clothes have been here for a long time and normally they smell like the fabric softener." Addison explained.

Alex took all of her suitcases outside as Addison said their goodbyes to her closest friends. She had agreed with the Chief that she could come back in a week. Even after protesting thoroughly, Richard had put his foot down and flat out refused to let Addison come back the next day. In return, he had given of Alex, two days, to be with her, knowing how easily annoyed Addison got.

"Ready to go?" He put an arm around her shoulders and she leaned her head against his as they stood in front of the hospital, waiting to leave. Their car was filled with her suitcases.

"Um, Alex. Can I drive? I want to see if I can still do it." Addison said uneasy, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Alex studied her expression, "You want to see if you still know where our house is?" He asked. She sighed, "Yeah." She admitted. He gathered her in his arms, kissing her softly on the lips. "Addie, you could've just told me you know, I want to help you as much as possible." She wrapped her arms securely around his neck, "Okay. Thank you Alex." He kissed her lips once again and handed her the car keys.

15 minutes later they were home. "See, I knew you'd still remember this."Alex smiled, taking the suitcases from the car and putting them all inside. He wanted to start unpacking but Addison stopped him, "No. I'll unpack them, then at least I have something to do." She smiled. "Can I at least move them upstairs then?" He asked. "That you can do." She answered.

Addison took a look around. This place was exactly like she remembered, except there were a few new photos and everything was more organized than she remembered. With every new photo she passed, the memories flooded back. She walked by a big one of them that was taken on Cristina's non-wedding to Burke. They were secretly dating by then and the sexual tension just dripped of the picture. But on the stand next to the fireplace, stood Addison's favorite. She sat in Alex's lap, leaning her head on his shoulder and they were discussing something, both having a lazy smile on their face. Neither of them knew that picture had been taken, until Callie showed her.

"All done." Alex spoke as he came downstairs. Addison turned around and closed the distance to where Alex was. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, kissing him passionately. Alex ran his hands up and down on her sides and she played with his hair on the nape of his neck. "Sleep with me." Addison whispered in his ear. "It's only 8 pm, but alright if you're tired." Alex said in between kisses. "No. _Sleep_ with me." Addison said in a sultry voice, lifting her eyebrow suggestively. "Good lord I love you." Alex said as he lifted her and she locked her legs behind is back and he carried her upstairs.

It's good to be home.

**Review for the last time? :)**


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